If there are any readers left on my Myspace blog, I'm sure some of you that bother to read and reply here will no doubt already have a pretty firm understanding of who I am and what I'm all about. For those of you who don't, well, you have a bit of reading to do...
Funky Rhythmic Undulations
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
Meet the Miscreant
Posted by Miscreant at 8:56 AM 0 comments
Saturday, March 1, 2008
God Exists!
His eternal presence is well-documented within some of the most prominent religious doctrines in the world. His ethereal grace is a time-honored force to be reckoned with. He is a source of everlasting love for some, yet a persistent fountain of decadence and moral decay to others. How can the concept of one ethereal Creator cause such warm and fuzzy feelings and fierce denial and hatred all at the same time? Where did He come from? Where is He going? More importantly, can He see you when you're in the bathroom?
That's right, ladies and gentlemen, tonight I'll be discussing the big man himself...
The Holy Father...
The Lord of Hosts...
The Great Omniscient Puppetmaster of the Skies...
God!
Let's start with the easy stuff, shall we?
Where did He come from?
This is quite possibly the most simple question to answer, as long as you're following one of the 7,284 translations of the Bible. According to the book of Genesis, "In the beginning there was darkness..." If you're big on logic (and I know all of you Christian folk are big on logic!) then it's relatively safe to assume that God came from, well, darkness. However, that didn't last for too long. I mean, who would want to reign supreme over a kingdom of...nothing?
In the immaculate spirit of capitalism, God eventually got bored with darkness and filled the universe with a bunch of stuff for Him to personally rule over. Thanks to God, we now have light, earth, beasts to roam the earth, mankind, paperclips, Sally Struthers, and birth control!
What did He do?
Again, you can find numerous accounts of God's work within your personal flavor of the Bible. To sort of sum things up, I'll give you the Bible in a nutshell...
God created all sorts of shit, namely mankind. He sorta became displeased with Himself after mankind ultimately turned its back upon Him, so He promptly killed everything on the planet save one righteous dude and a boatload of beasts. Eventually the waters subsided and mankind repopulated the planet, leaving God to set upon the dutiful task of picking sides during the wars that followed. He killed a lot of folks, set plagues upon the survivors, then gave his chosen people a list of suggestions on how to avoid his loving vengeance. A little after that He gifted one very surprised young girl with His son, whom He had already assigned the arduous task of growing up only to die a smelly, messy death on a hunk of wood for all of mankind. After that, He sorta falls out of the picture and all of creation is left to trust the writings of a bunch of people who claimed to know something about Him.
Of course, this leaves a lot of questions unanswered for the average Joe who desires to have a better picture of the divine entity he is expected to worship in order to achieve his salvation.
What did He look like?
Unfortunately, there is little documentation concerning what God really looks like. However, that doesn't stop me from speculating!
Many like to think of Him as a vengeful god of thunder and lightening. However, it didn't really work that well for Zeus, so this concept of God has mostly disappeared from modern consciousness.
Some like to think of Him as the wise-beardy-old-guy type who looks down upon us with love and fuzzy tenderness.
Even still, some like to view him as a fearful God of wrath. But does this look like the guy who created puppies and candy?
I didn't think so!
A small minority of crazy woodland folk might suggest that He was some sort of extraterrestrial visitor from another galaxy.
...but all of us smart myspace people know better than that!
Fortunately, we live in a politically-correct society which leans more toward a socially acceptable image of God.
That's affirmative action for ya!
While trying to paint your own personal picture of God serves for a bit of entertainment on a rainy day, deep down we are all very sensitive and caring creatures. It's what's on the inside that counts, right?
Who has God's approval?
Although entire nations of people have fought and died to earn God's favor throughout history, there are only a select few who ever achieve such a glorious honor.
Like the United States!
Unless you've been living under a rock for the past century, you know that God does indeed bless America. Without His divine backing how could we ever become the most powerful country in the world, yet still manage to be the most wasteful and the most ignorant? Praise the Lord!
God also loves children...
...but he hates fags. God loves the children because they know this!
If you happen to be a nation with a history of Christian influence and are drawing plans to go to war, God generally has your side! God is all about smiting some heathens, so if you're into dropping bombs on the backwards people of the East then He's probably your man!
Who Believes in God?
Another easy one: everybody! Honestly, who could not believe in the existence of such a colorful character? One day He's blessing the children of Israel, the next He's making rivers flow with blood and wiping entire races of people off of the planet! I don't know about you, but I like my deity to be saucy and adventurous!
And if that doesn't do it for you, check out all of these awesome people who proclaim to believe in God:
Charles Manson
"I believe in God and I do the best I can everyday by everybody I can, you know."
Tom Araya of Slayer
"I was born and raised Catholic."
The Pope
C'mon, do you really need a quote? He's the fucking pope!
Little-known Facts about God
Find yourself confused by His enigmatic appearance, bipolar personality and colorful entourage of followers?
Try this postmodern metaphysical nugget of philosophical advice on for size...
God exists, but not in the same sense that you or I exist. Or even a chair, for that matter. As far as we know, God does not exist on this plane of reality or any other. He does not exist in the sky. He does not exist in your heart. My friends, God exists in your head.
If you are looking for answers at your local neighborhood church/synogogue/mosque/temple or within the Bible, you're wasting your time. By the best definition that man can objectively apply to such a concept, God exists as an abstract idea present within the minds of intellectual skeptics and zealots. He is not the stuff of fate and dreams and prayers; He is an anamorphous concept utilized to explain the unexplainable and deny the undeniable. His word is written by man and exploited in an attempt to pacify and control the masses. His law is the law of men, and his grace is a distant mystic dream designed to offer some semblance of hope and guidance to people who lack the motivation to find their own purpose in life.
He is a convenient answer for the ugly and heretical proclamations of science. He is a simple solution for a universe filled with infinite complexities and incomprehensible mysteries. He is everything you love, yet everything you fear; an all-encompassing constuct of our own imaginative minds.
Who or what is God? Don't look to the skies for your answer. Look within yourself.
Forever Yours,
Miscreant
Posted by Miscreant at 9:57 PM 0 comments
Cruelty and Violence: Jesus Christ
Jesus Christ. His name is everywhere. His teachings have been recorded and distributed to millions of people around the world. The simple mention of his story inspires passionate loyalty and belief in some and fierce denial in others. What is so special about this man? Why have so many people come to believe that he is the true son of God and the savior of mankind? How has his influence come to be so widespread?
In this episode of Cruelty and Violence I am going to take on one of the most controversial stories to ever surface in the history of mankind. Just who is this Jesus character, anyway? What did he do during his lifetime to warrant such a following? And more importantly: was he perfect?
Cruelty and Violence: Jesus Christ
Before I address some important issues concerning the modern perception of Jesus Christ as the personal lord and savior of all of mankind, let's take a look at just what he did to earn his Son of God merit badge.
I thought for a while about simply describing in intricate detail the every suffering of the Christ, however, this is the 21ST CENTURY and whatnot. To reinforce their perception of the true sacrifice of Jesus, feel free to share these images with your children.
For claiming to be the Son of God, Pilate and a murderous melting pot of Romans and Jews condemned Jesus to have nails driven through his hands.
And through his feet...
There is some debate as to whether or not the nails were driven through his hands or his wrists. I don't see how it really makes much of a difference either way, but whatever. If you want to nail up one of your friends at home and truly find out if the center of a man's palms can fully support the weight of his upper body without tearing, feel free to email me pictures.
Oh, and let's not forget the flogging! Before Jesus was sentenced to carry the cross, Pilate had him publicly scourged from head to toe.
If Jesus had lived long enough after the flogging for his wounds to heal, his back would have probably looked something like this.
According to scripture, every inch of Jesus' body was maimed to the point that people could hardly recognize him anymore.
Props to my boy Mel for this one.
And this one.
Pretty gruesome, eh? According to scripture, all of this was completely necessary in order for God to even consider the possibility of offering redemption to mankind. Jesus served as the 'Lamb of God', and if you have any knowledge of the Old Testament you know exactly what this means. Jesus was the sacrifice we offered up to God in order to justify our sinful ways. You could pray and fast and observe the Sabbath and make the best attempt to live a perfect life that you were capable of back in those days, but God simply refused to grant mankind the luxury of deliverance without first demanding the brutal and unnecessary slaughter of an innocent life.
Let me pose this question to all of you Christians out there: just who the hell are you calling wicked? Your God has consistently proven throughout the fables of the Bible that he can one-up all of our best efforts at brutality and ignorance, yet you want to say that those who don't love Him are evil? Take a look in the fucking mirror.
Whether or not you believe in Jesus, you have to admit that the story of His sacrifice is epic and moving. This man supposedly led a perfect life. He traveled throughout the world teaching people how to properly worship God, healing the sick and the blind, and generally causing problems for the people who perverted and distorted religious beliefs in order to turn a profit. To top it all off, he went and got himself sliced, diced and thrown up on a cross in order to save all of us filthy sinners. What a guy!
The story of Jesus has prevailed throughout the centuries as one of the most controversial issues in history. However, there are quite a few misconceptions concerning Christ that abound in today's modern consciousness.
Was Jesus God?
Don't get me wrong with this one. I don't want to touch the jumbled chaos of an issue that is the Trinity with a ten-foot pole. I'm not going to go one way or the other on the whole Father, Son and Holy Ghost shit, as it makes little sense no matter how you look at it. I'm simply addressing the idea that some people seem to think that Jesus was God incarnate.
Given the characteristics of God as they are depicted in the Bible, one can conclude that mortality and immortality are mutually exclusive characteristics. God, by nature, is immortal. He cannot be destroyed, nor can He die. Jesus, on the other hand, was very mortal. He didn't even make it to 40 before proving to the rest of the world that he is made of the same earthly substance as the rest of us.
In Matthew 19:17 Jesus makes an important distinction between himself and God, claiming that only God is good and perfect. This brings me to my next point, which is that Christ was tempted by Satan. For Christ to be tempted (albeit unsuccessfully), there must have been the smallest little sliver of a chance that Christ had the capacity to commit sin. James 1:13 explicity states that God cannot be tempted. However, Jesus endured the temptation of Satan by praying to God.
Does anyone have an exerpt from the Bible in which Jesus says "Oh heavenly ME, please hear my cries. In all of MY greatness, please deliver me from peril."? I didn't think so. Jesus prays to God just like every other Christian.
In Luke 2:40 and 52 it is described how Jesus came to grow and learn. Jesus lived as any normal human being does. As he grew older, his wisdom and his stature increased. If Jesus were God, why wasn't he omniscient from the beginning? God clearly exhibits that He has neither the desire or the capability to learn throughout the Bible. However, Jesus earned the knowledge that he possessed at the time of his death. It was not given to him, nor was it an inherent quality.
There are lots of other common sense instances strewn throughout the story of Christ that make it pretty obvious as to his origin and nature. When Jesus arises from his baptism, God speaks from Heaven saying "This is my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased." Why would God speak to Jesus and others claiming to be pleased with His son if He were His son?
In John 8:17-18 Jesus states that evidence, in order to be considered valid, must be viewed by two witnesses: himself and God. If Jesus and God were one in the same, there would be only one witness. Furthermore, Jesus explicitly states that there are two, so if you subscribe to his teachings you must acknowledge that there cannot be only one.
So there you have it, in case you happened to be confused about this one. Jesus, in fact, was not God. He exhibited none of God's unholy qualities, and specifically stated that he and God were separate on multiple occasions.
Is Jesus the Only Path to Salvation?
Unfortunately, according to the Bible, the only way to get to Heaven is through the Son of God. Whether Jesus is pleased by faith, works, or any combination of the two is an entirely separate debate. The fact still remains that Jesus is the only way you're gonna get there.
Is this cruel? Yes indeed, sir. As stated previously, the fact that God required the sacrifice of an innocent life in order to extend the proverbial olive branch to humanity is the pinnacle of His reckless career as a hateful and unjust tyrant.
However, it's also bad for the rest of us. If you're anything like me, you've spent years sifting through endless books and articles concerning every different flavor of mainstream religion around the world. Like it or not, Jesus is not the only prominent religious figure in history. There's Buddha, Confuscious, Lao Tsu, Muhammed, Allah, Zeus, Shiva, Earth Mother, Ra, Elvis, and all sorts of other deific figures for Jesus to contend with out there. Who are we to label one as prominent and the other decadent?
According to the last statistics I bothered to look at, there are roughly 6 billion people on this planet. Of those 6 billion, 1 billion profess to be Christian.
Question: where is the other fifth of humanity going to go when the supposed apocalypse happens? Call me crazy, but I'm guessing HELL.
As brutal as it may sound, I sometimes find myself wishing God had lined up all of these deific motherfuckers for a nice healthy dose of crucifixion. If I have to have a savior to keep me from Hell, I'd at least like to be able to pick one out of a lineup or something.
Was Jesus perfect?
Interpret this as you will, but the word of Jesus was not always proven to be infallible.
"Then Jesus went thence, and departed into the coasts of Tyre and Sidon. And, behold, a woman of Canaan came out of the same coasts and cried unto him, saying, Have mercy on me, Oh Lord, thou son of David; my daughter is grievously vexed with a devil. But he answered her not a word. And his disciples came and besought him, saying, Send her away; for she crieth after us. But he answered and said, I am not sent but unto the lost sheep of the house of Israel. Then came she and worshipped him, saying, Lord, help me. But he answered and said, It is not meet to take the children's bread, and to cast it to dogs. And she said, Truth, Lord; yet the dogs eat of the crumbs which fall from their masters' table. Then Jesus answered and said unto her, O woman, great is thy faith: be it unto thee even as thou wilt. And her daughter was made whole from that very hour."
Here a woman pleads with Jesus to heal her sickly daughter. Rather than feeling pity for the woman and helping her, Jesus ignores her. She continues to plead and Jesus likens her people to dogs. Only when the woman outsmarts Jesus and turns his insult against him does he acknowledge her crisis.
All in all, Jesus lived and died as nothing more than an ordinary man who happened to be chosen by God for an unjust sacrifice. He was and is still considered to be a great teacher, but he was not God. He was not perfect. If you consider the fact that he labeled a distressed woman from Canaan as a dog and damn near refused to help her, you might even be able to say that he wasn't entirely without sin.
One can logically surmise that Jesus was one of the greatest martyrs in history, and his following of loyal (and sometimes crazy) Christians is a direct result of that. Whether or not his death has any bearing on your personal view of the afterlife is entirely up to you.
While Jesus may have died for your sins, he certainly did not die for mine. For those of you who wish to pray to the disembodied spirit of this influential man for the forgiveness of your sins, well, good luck with that. If you choose to take personal responsibility for your actions and learn from your mistakes without letting your existence slip into a perpetual state of guilt and redemption, sleep well tonight knowing that you have a much better chance of leading a full and satisfying life.
Forever yours,
Miscreant
Posted by Miscreant at 7:13 PM 0 comments
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
